Self-Control
by EverlostShadow
Summary: Your mine and just don't know it yet. One-sided DM/HG with dark themes. Music inspired FanFic.


Thought I give writing on Fanfiction a try. Let me know if I should continue or what I could work on!

Songs that gave this idea life:

Self-Control - Dallask

Habits of My Heart – Jaymes Young

Play Me Like a Violin - Stephen

I own nothing of the Harry Potter universe/book series or song lyrics used within this chapter. I just come up with the ideas to put them together to make a plot of sorts.

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I was gonna leave, leave this world, but you walked right through the door. Back into my life, a breath of fresh air in my dark world. Returning to Hogwarts felt like a life sentence in its self. Being made Head Boy did not make a difference in how students and professors treated me as if I was shit. As if I could only be own as a Deatheater. Though that wasn't the case with you, the Gryffindor Princess. You decided to be the bigger person. The kindness you have shown to me, even though it held little warmth behind it, became my sun.

The way you held me, down like an anchor, put a weight on my heart that I never felt before. You became my everything and you didn't even know. I was always caught up in my mind, locked away in my bedroom, dark thoughts of war and death chasing sleep away. I couldn't think straight anymore until the sounds of movement would return to our shared Headroom. The sounds of you just residing in a place with me would chase away the thoughts. I couldn't help to lay for the hours with my ear to my bedroom door. Wishing that I could be with you in the same room without chasing you away. Months went by where these noises seemed to be enough to survive on.

Noises started to tempt me though. My self-control was leaving me, and I was looking for company. Not just anyone, only you. I would think that you need to turn around and walk away. Cause I know that if you stay here for much longer in my presentence, I'm gonna lose my self-control. There's no way that you can stay here any longer Hermione because I've got no self-control.

I wanna hold you close but I keep telling myself that you should run away because you got somebody else. These thoughts made my insides turn and the desire to kill whoever that individual was growing with fiery rage. Your presence returning to our shared living area would make the rage wavier because you were back with me. I know that I shouldn't be this way but what I feel for you isn't something I can help. I would make up reasons to be in the same room as you, whether it be the library, the same table as you in class, or even our shared living place. I can't say no to myself anymore to just watch from afar. It was ripping me apart. Your mine and just don't know it yet. You would show your discomfort through how you held yourself when you would become aware of my increased presence in your life. This didn't bother me though, I had your attention. One of the things I truly desired. I know that you'd rather be alone, but I can't feel a damn thing without you. You never let me get to close. I was losing my self-control.

I now wanted your touch and not only your attention. Hermione, you seemed fine sharing your touch with others. You get to close and it's ripping me apart. Why are you willing to touch your friends when you're not even willing me into arms reach? Jealous would make me want to do horrible things to others, myself, and even somethings things to you, Love. You're fermented in my bones and I want to lose myself between your legs. I tell myself you would like that, and the habits of my heart just seemed to grow with want. Love, you make it hard to let you go even when I know that would be for the best. I can't go back now, I could never let my shining sun go. In my dark room, I feel nothing. I need oxygen that I can breathe. Through the darkness, I walk to your room. A smile creeps onto my face as I break your wards. Those wards should keep most things from the night out, but I'm not one. I wanna feel alive and you, love, have what I need to do so. You breathe softly from your bed as I drink you in. You're unaware of me, just like you normally are. My self-control slips further away as the need to touch you comes alive. I'd like to stay here for a while.

Just you and I.


End file.
